
A note on the Scripture in this study: every verse is printed WHOLE. The words set in ordinary type are the ones this lesson leans on and emphasizes . . . the words in italics are the rest of the verse, printed so that nothing is ever handed to you as a fragment with the remainder missing.
I made a promise about this one from the pulpit back in September, and I have been turning it over ever since . . . because this IS NOT a study question . . . somebody reading this has a chair in the house that nobody sits in any more.
So we are not going to be tidy about it. We are going to go get the Book and see what it says about the prayer that was prayed and prayed . . . and the answer was NO.
THE BIBLE DOES NOT FLINCH
Here is the first thing worth noticing, before we look at one verse . . . it would have been the EASIEST THING in this world for the Bible to hand us nothing but prayers that got a yes . . . and it does not do that.
It hands us four men who asked and did not get it . . . and one of them is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.
PAUL — a NO with the reason attached
2 Corinthians 12:7 — “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.”
Now look at one word in that verse before we go on. The thorn was GIVEN to him. Paul does not say the thorn happened to him . . . he does not say the thorn slipped past God while He was looking somewhere else . . . it was GIVEN.
2 Corinthians 12:8–9 — “For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Three times . . . this is a man who had raised the dead and been caught up into the third heaven, and he asked three times for one thing to be taken away . . . and God told him NO, and then God did something we ought to notice — He told him WHY.
Paul never did get the thing he asked for . . . what he got instead was God . . . and by the end of the chapter he is saying he would rather have it THIS way. Whatever that thorn was, Paul went to his grave glad about the answer.
DAVID — a NO with a grave at the end of it
This one is harder, because a child dies in it.
2 Samuel 12:16 — “David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.”
Seven days he stayed down there on the ground . . . and on the seventh day the child died . . . and now watch the servants, because they tell us something about how a man is expected to take a NO:
2 Samuel 12:18 — “And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?”
They were AFRAID to tell him . . . they fully expected the man to come apart . . . and here is what he did instead:
2 Samuel 12:20 — “Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.”
He got up . . . he washed his face . . . and he went to the house of the LORD and he WORSHIPPED. And when they asked him how in the world he could do that, he gave them the plainest answer in the Book:
2 Samuel 12:22–23 — “And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”
Two things in there and both of them will hold a man up. One — he prayed as long as there was any hope at all, and when the answer came he did not stand there and argue with God about it. Two — “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” That is not a man giving up . . . that is hope with an ADDRESS on it. David knew where that baby was, and he knew he was going there himself.
THE LORD HIMSELF — the prayer that was refused
And now the one that settles it for good.
Matthew 26:39 — “And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
“If it be possible.” It was NOT possible . . . and the cup did NOT pass. The Son of God asked His Father for something in the garden and the answer was no.
Now put this verse beside it, because it is one of the most important verses in this whole study:
Hebrews 5:7 — “Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;”
And was HEARD. He was heard . . . and the answer was STILL no. So let nobody ever tell you again – that a prayer which did not get what it asked for – was a prayer that God did not hear.
LAZARUS — the NO that was a “not yet”
There is one more, and it is the tenderest of the four . . . two sisters send word to the Lord about their brother – and John gives us three verses in a row that ought to be read together:
John 11:3–6 — “Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick. When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus. When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.”
Read those in order and do not soften it. He LOVED them . . . and He WAITED. John put those two facts in the same breath on purpose – because he knew we would need them in the same breath.
And when the Lord FINALLY got there, Martha met Him with the sentence every one of us would have spoken – if we had been in Martha’s shoes…
John 11:21 — “Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.”
He did not scold her for saying it. He did not correct her . . . and a few verses later - standing at a grave He was about to open – the Bible says the shortest and heaviest thing it ever says:
John 11:35 — “Jesus wept.”
He knew EXACTLY what He was fixing to do . . . and He cried anyway . . . so whatever else we learn about a NO; we can settle this much – it does not come from a God who is unmoved by what it costs us.
THREE THINGS A “NO” IS NOT
One — it is NOT PROOF He did not hear. Hebrews 5:7 already settled that one. He was heard, and the cup did not pass.
Two — it is NOT PUNISHMENT. Paul's thorn was given to keep him from being lifted up in pride, and not to pay him back for anything. A NO is not God settling an account with us.
Three — and hear this one carefully — it is NOT a failure of our faith . . . nobody in the history of this world has ever prayed with more faith than the Lord Jesus in that garden . . . and the answer was still no… So when somebody tells a grieving mother that her baby would have lived if she had believed a little harder – that person is handling the Book wrong – and he is laying a load on a back that is already carrying more than it can hold... Do not let anybody EVER do that to you – and do not ever do it to anybody else.
WHAT WE ARE GIVEN INSTEAD OF THE REASON
Now here is where I have to be honest with you . . . most of the time we are not told why. Paul got told – we usually DO NOT...
Deuteronomy 29:29 — “The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.”
There are TWO PILES in that verse, and we have to learn to live with the size of them – The SECRET things are His . . . & the REVEALED things are ours . . . and a great deal of what we most want to know about a NO is sitting over in His pile.
Isaiah 55:8–9 — “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
And then there is the verse everybody quotes at a funeral, and it is a good verse — but it is worth reading slowly – because most of us hear it wrong:
Romans 8:28 — “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
It does not say that everything IS good . . . it says all things WORK TOGETHER FOR good . . . and there is a world of difference between these two.
Illustration — What Is On The Counter. Set out what goes into a cake before IT IS a cake – Raw flour – A raw egg – Baking soda – A spoon of bitter vanilla… Not one of those things is any good BY ITSELF and a couple of them will turn your stomach . . . but they are not FINISHED yet, and they are not meant to be eaten off the counter one at a time . . . they are meant to go in the oven TOGETHER – Romans 8:28 does not ask us to call the raw egg good . . . it tells us Who is doing the mixing.
FROM THE PULPIT
We could look at that prayer for good health — that prayer to never hear the word CANCER. I have been really — really sick — literally to the point of death . . . and I will tell you the honest truth. You can say what you want . . . you can say you love God . . . you can say that you depend upon God — but until you see that SINGLE set of footprints in the sands of life – realizing that Jesus did not desert you in your hour of need – but that He in fact CARRIED you in your hour of need — your relationship with Him will be less than it would be otherwise.
So is sickness a good thing? All by itself the answer is no – it is not a good thing — but then neither is a raw egg a good thing all by itself... Sickness may not be a good thing . . . but what sickness teaches us is priceless – and what sickness does to our relationship with God is not a thing that can be bought or purchased any other way… Good health every day of our life would be a fine thing to experience — but there are things that sickness taught me – about leaning on God that good health never would have.
And here is where I want us to think about ETERNITY – because this is the part most of us never consider... Paul says there are things waiting for us that we cannot even imagine…
1 Corinthians 2:9 — “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”
Read WHO those things are prepared for — “them that LOVE him.” Now put that beside what Paul says two chapters later about the day our work is tried by fire:
1 Corinthians 3:12–15 — “Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.”
Every one of us who is saved gets THERE — that is settled – and nothing in this life can undo it… But not every one of us gets there having built with the same material . . . one man's work stands and he receives a reward, and another man's work burns and he suffers loss . . . YES – he IS saved – but he stands there with empty hands.
That is what I mean about eternity – If we never learn to love Him — and hard things are one of the ways He teaches us TO love Him — then we will get to heaven and MISS OUT on things we could have received – Not lose our salvation – But miss a reward. There will be things prepared for them that love Him – that we simply will not have, because we NEVER let Him build that love into us down here.
So “a no” on this earth may be God trading us wood and hay for gold… To work together for our good does not mean that every step on the road of our life WILL BE GOOD.
SO WHAT DO WE DO WITH A NO?
One — keep praying while there is anything to pray about… David fasted and wept as long as that child was alive – and he was right to . . . “who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me.” We are not told the outcome ahead of time, and we are not supposed to pray as if we KNEW the outcome…
Two — then get up and go worship . . . that is the hardest sentence in this whole part – and I am not going to pretend otherwise… But David washed his face and went to the house of the LORD . . . and the man who does that is going to “make it” – or continue to live IN FAITH – BUT the man who lies on the ground in anger or bitterness – he will be man who will not continue living in faith...
Three — quit demanding the reason. The secret things belong to Him – We can ask . . . but we cannot make the asking A CONDITION of our trust, because that is not trust at all — that is a trade.
Four — take the grace that IS being offered. God did not give Paul the thing he asked for… He gave him something – and He named it… “my grace is sufficient for thee.”
That grace is on the table for us too . . . and a man can starve to death with food right in front of him – if he refuses to eat it because it is NOT the meal he ordered.
Five — do not let it TURN to bitterness . . . this is the one I worry about the most . . . when the answer is no – we will either believe that God is good and we could not see the whole of it . . . OR we will get bitter — and bitterness will walk a man right out of the faith and take his family with him.
Job 13:15 — “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.”
BEFORE YOU LEAVE
A NO from God – is NOT a failure of prayer . . . and it is NOT the silence of a God who was not listening . . . it is an ANSWER — given by a Father who loves us – out of a wisdom that is as far above ours as the heavens are above this earth – and we are simply not able to read it yet from where we are standing.
Paul got his answer explained to him… David did not – and he worshipped anyway… Martha got hers explained four days late – at a graveside . . . and the Lord Jesus got a NO in the garden – so that we could have a YES that lasts forever.
Simple truth: God has NEVER one time told a child of His no – out of anything except love . . . and one day we will have the WHOLE of it explained – and when that time comes - there is not going to be a one of us – who would wish He had answered differently.
TRY IT THIS WEEK
If you are carrying a NO right now – do the David thing . . . and do it in this order... Wash your face – Go to the house of the LORD – Worship BEFORE you understand.
And if you are NOT carrying “a no” this week — then find somebody who is – and go sit with them . . . you do not have to explain anything to them – Job's friends did fine for seven days – right up until they opened their mouths.
NEXT — Part Five: Lord, Teach Us to Pray. The disciples watched Him pray every day for three years, and what they finally asked Him for was lessons. So He gave them a pattern . . . and it is not the chant most people have made of it.




